At some point in the nascent life of my endurance athleticism, this new thing started popping up everywhere. This object, which seemingly began trending overnight, was often associated with college boys in cut-off tanks and a distinct rattling noise.
This object was the blender bottle.
Wtf is a blender bottle, and is it dishwasher safe? were my first questions, closely followed by the need to know “Why does everyone have this thing? What is it for? Why does just looking at it make me feel inadequate?”
The blender bottle is an admittedly efficient way of mixing water with powders that one consumes before, during, and after exercise. While I would be willing to bet that the large majority of these drinks that people consume are unnecessary and ineffectual for a 23 minute gym session, the blender bottle does offer the distinct – and useful – property of evenly dispersing sticky powders that would otherwise coagulate at the bottom of a bottle. And then harden there. And then rot. And you don’t even need electricity for it. You just shake it.
These aforementioned sticky powders are often high in protein and sugar, and provide a fast way for your body to break down the nutrients that will allow it to perform at its best and recover after a hard session. Or so we are told. According to Wikipedia, protein powders and shakes have been around since the 1950s. Since then, the ‘protein powder industry’ has become a multi-billion dollar industry. I can’t confirm those facts, and honestly I’m not going to because I have better things to do and because these are all just underlying bullets in the main purpose of this article anyway:
In a literal culture of protein powders and workout products, how the hell are you supposed to find ones that actually work and aren’t just lies, or worse, laced with illegal supplements?
Let’s take yet another step back and I’ll give you an anecdote about my experience with protein powders, and, as I started cycling and needed to fuel on rides exceeding 4 hours, other nutritional drink mixes. My anecdote goes like this: every single one that I tried tasted like garbage. Getting nutrients in liquid form was not easy. Who is going to leave a blender bottle of milk in the hot car while they run or ride? Most folks mix these powders with water, and are thus subject to choking down pseudo-vanilla flavored doo doo water with a sprinkling of plastic flavor and little clumps at the bottom. Hell no.
To compound the flavor, there is a short window to absorb the nutrients contained in these mixes (~30 minutes after exercise, and sometimes less for women) to prevent muscle catabolism. When you just want to relax and ponder how you’ve just pushed your body and are basically amazing, you instead have to choke this stuff down before the time is up. It’s like a sadistic Wheel of Fortune where instead of playing a fun letter game you’re gonna get washed away by a ticking clock that explodes with 500 gallons of goat milk.
And then there are all the stories of folks using generic protein powders or pre-workout supplements and getting busted by USADA. No thanks. Couple this with trial and error of products: a 2-week supply of dubious drink mixes and supplements can cost upwards of $50? I just graduated from college. Please. Getting the runs after every hard workout or race? I mean aside from being unpleasant, none of your teammates wants to be in the fart van with you.
But I’ll have you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And that light is CarboRocket.
Bless CarboRocket, it tastes amazing. Not just like “ok, this is better than the other stuff so I’ll tolerate it.” It actually tastes good. The chocolate-coconut Rehab mixes with WATER and tastes like chocolate milk. The Half Evil, which contains the same amount/more nutrition than a bar or gel (without the wrapper), is significantly less sticky and more pleasant than a gel. There are a slew of flavors to choose from. You don’t like vanilla? Then don’t worry about going into a nutrition store and waiting on the lady there to try to tell you what you need to buy but oh after 40 minutes this only comes in vanilla. Each CarboRocket product comes with a variety of options.
I’ve finally deduced that my stomach blows up post-race if I consume anything synthetic before race time (lol energy drinks, who would’ve thought). But for a long training day or pre-race ritual, the CarboRocket Hydration Mix or Half-Evil keep me feeling un-sickly and ready to go. I’m not great at using my hands to eat during a ride or race yet, so getting nutrition via my bottle is essential, and not just electrolytes, but caffeine and valuable building blocks to keep your muscle glycogen sufficient. CarboRocket has a suite of products that make getting a full panel of nutrients on the bike easy. Post-any-activity, recovery is essential, and the Recovery is so flippin tasty. I can mix it with water and drink it in just a few minutes. No more drawn-out gagging.
I’m not a nutritionist, but I do have a biology degree and so it’s generally pretty easy for me to figure out what is good and what is bad in a product. If they don’t list all their ingredients, gtfo. If anything has ‘X’ before or after the ingredient or lists a ‘proprietary blend’ or ‘bits of rat,’ generally avoid those. Crazily enough, CarboRocket lists their ingredients and explains what they do. Certain proteins and sugars are not as bio-available as others, meaning that a mix may have something in there that your body can’t even use, but is cheaper to produce. Not CarboRocket! They use natural preservatives *gasp* simple, high-quality ingredients, and the right kinds of electrolytes.
Plus there aren’t any crazy explosions painted on the bag or innuendos to using your strength to beat down on others, which is a nice marketing touch imo.
I have a confession to make. I’m not really super concerned about being a perfect eater. After years of restricting and being under weight, I’ve found that my body performs a million percent better when I follow my gut, listen to cravings, eat until I am full, and don’t restrict myself to the point that I am unhappy and fixated on food. But the one exception, if you can call it that, is having a perfect spectrum of nutrition on the bike. Have you ever bonked? Yeah. CarboRocket makes it easy for me to get the nutrition and electrolytes I need on the bike and after to keep me one hundo percent.
Give CarboRocket a try. You can get it at the Pony Shop. It’s amazing. Tbh a blender bottle can still be helpful with these. Make sure it says something about how you’re a big muscle dude on it.
Do you ❤ CarboRocket? Let us know why in the comments.
2 thoughts on “Literally just use CarboRocket”
Been using Half evil for the last year for marathons. Found it after doing a race in 12 degree temps and my chew froze. Nearly choked me getting stuck in my throat. Having fuel in liquid form is so awesome. No need to waste energy chewing! I need to try some of their other products. Was about to try the beet pre-race formula.
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